Types of emotional meltdown in mothers and its cures for them.
There can be various types of emotional meltdown in mothers. The feeling of guilt, anger and resentment are common emotional states in mothers in the postpartum days. However, all these feelings are just a passing phase. Some of the common reasons of post-partum depressions are:
The “guilt” feeling. You probably experience a rush of guilt even if you are away from your baby for just a couple of hours. Generally this happens because your own expectations to be a perfect mother weighs you down and you feel guilty for absolutely no fault of yours. The problem starts to ease once this bond is established and your baby’s demands are being met. Now even if you stay away from your baby for quite a while, you start feeling that it is quite normal and may be just a part of your daily life.
Share responsibilities. Your partner’s role is important; if he and the family can share some of your responsibilities it can do a world of good. During this phase your partner needs to make you believe that the bonding that you and the family share with the baby is the most important priority.
Anger is a natural feeling. You may experience spurts of anger during this time. Don’t worry, this is quite natural. There is no point in feeling bad about your bursts of anger if it happens once in a while. This happens due to various hormones surges happening in the body.
Share your anxiety. The key is to control the anger so that it does not do any harm to your baby. You should talk to your partner about it. You can also show some extra love and care to your baby. These wash away the feelings of anger.
Feeling of resentment. You may feel that you do all the dirty and odd jobs while your partner is having a good time out there. It is quite probable that your partner is feeling that he is missing out on the growing up phase of the baby that you are enjoying. Communicate with your partner about these feelings of resentment
Growing distance with your partner. Sometimes it happens that you and your partner may start to grow apart from each other after your baby’s birth. This can happen because bringing up a baby is an all consuming full-time job. So during this phase it may become a bit difficult for couples to spend time with each other like they used to do earlier. Try to spend time together away from the baby for a little while. This will strengthen your bond and you will feel much better.
Family is a support system.
Families are great support systems and it is quite possible that you get all the help you need. Talk to them about all your positive and negative feelings. You can also take the help of your spouse or family on the days when you want to have some time alone for yourself. This can recharge you.
Spend time with your partner. Spend some time together after your baby is asleep. You may be too tired to do so, but the time that you spend together strengthens your relationship, bringing a positive effect on you.
Physical intimacy may help. You may not have much of an interest in having sex during this phase. Also you can be afraid of having sex or just be too tired. However, if your doctor has given you the go ahead, getting physically intimate can be a strong step towards re-bonding with your partner. It can cure you of all your emotional worries.
Feeling of boredom.
Being a mother is a great feeling and experience and your baby’s company is fascinating. Still sometimes you may miss parts of your earlier life like your job, your earlier schedules, your lifestyle, some stimulating adult company etc. In a nutshell you may feel a bit cut-off from the rest of the world.
Change your routine to fight boredom. The greatest cure for boredom is to bring about some changes in your daily routine. For instance, you can plan out some activities for your baby. These can include going out to the park or setting play-dates for her. You can also swap babysitting play-dates with your friend who also has a baby. Spending some time in your favourite hobby and activity or just spending some time with yourself while the baby sleeps or is off to school can be a smart idea. Exercise classes can also help immensely. Consult your doctor before starting any new regime.
Motherhood can bring in a high level of stress due to various factors. High activity levels, pending and postponed work, the constant demands of your baby wanting your attention all the time etc can contribute to make you feel stressed. Many other factors can also combine to develop a sneaky sense of overall negative feeling. Add to that, your partner’s inability to meet your demands can really shoot up your stress levels.
Just try to keep yourself calm and collected. Don’t expect much, either from yourself, or your partner. Most importantly, do not break down in front of your baby. If you are happy and content it not only benefits you but also has a lasting positive effect on your baby which makes her mentally stronger.